Brief Visit From An Angel...

I knew that Lace was going to kid today, it was after all Her due date, at least in My notes. She was laying around early Morning and I checked on her as often as I could between the Days usual chores. I wondered why she did not appear to look ready, her Udder was not too full and her lady parts that we Goat breeders are always using as a guide to predict the blessed day was not swollen or dilated as I would have expected.

As the morning wore on Lace did begin to look as if she would prove I was not slipping up in My record keeping, forgetting to jot down Her breeding dates, something that I have done and always regret. Lace was not toting around a huge baby bump this year, the last freshening was triplet girls, I suspected she would have twins, Boys of course but I prefer twins, easier for Me and the Dams to manage.

Lace knew there was a problem long before I did. She pressed her head against the Barn wall a few times and shifted her position along the wall. It was time to go into the kidding Pen that was set up and waiting. When Lace would not stand and walk for Me I then began to feel uneasy about what this kidding had in store. Lace would not push, she seem to have willed her labor to stop, I knew then for sure I had work to do.

I arranged everything I needed, the whole time praying that I had nothing to worry about, not today. the weather forecast called for a winter mix and though the temp was warmer than the previous days it began to sleet and then snow as we settled down in the Pen to deliver Lace's little Angels. Worried that Lace wasn't pushing I decided to check inside to find the reason. There were two tiny hoofs trying to make their way out without much help from Mom so it was up to Me to get them into this world. Closer examining revealed that these were the babies back hooves, I never delivered a breach before but knew I needed to do it quickly.

Lace's Kid it turns out was a single, a very large Baby with long legs, a long body and a head to large to pass easily. I pulled, then waited for Lace to push, she didn't, I had to pull with all I had to bring the Angel out into the light. Baby Angel was delivered and with a few tiny wimpers after working hard to clear her drowning lungs she passed.

I am heartbroken, i'm defeated, devastated that I may have failed in some way. I

know I will eventually come to terms with the truth, I did all I knew to do, all the things I've read and studied to do in these situations, it was out of My hands. Being able to accept this Farmers life, the good and the very bad has not been easy, I ugly cried for this sweet Angel and held her close. In the kidding Pen next to Lace's there is Sunflower pawing the ground, beginning her labor, she looked directly at Me, needing the comfort of My presence on this next journey. Loss is painful but joy and hope is our band aid.